So we are finally having our celebratory dinner to celebrate C’s new job. We originally had planned to go out to dinner in December, but because of the diet that I’m following, we decided it probably was better not to indulge in a decadent meal in the middle of my regimen. Now that we’ve eased off some of the restrictions, we are going to try again this weekend. We’ve been looking forward to for a long time, and have booked our meal at one of Chicago’s best restaurants.  This is one of the instances where we realize that we’re going a little overboard, but we don’t expect to be dining at this restaurant more than once, and it really is a unique opportunity.

If it sounds like I’m doing a lot of justification, it’s probably because I am. I’m going to thoroughly enjoy this meal, but probably not quite as much as I would have enjoyed it had we gone in December. The reason?

Haiti.

I’ll be sitting in a restaurant having one of the most incredible meals of my life, while so many people in Haiti are struggling to find food enough to survive another day. Haiti already had a food shortage before all of this happened, and with the earthquake, they’re facing an even greater shortage. I hope and pray that the aid that is arriving will be able to be distributed to those who need it the most.

As much of a splurge this meal is, I can’t help but think what price some of the Haitians would pay for a simple meal to take care of their family. I’m sure it would be priceless to them.

To me, it’s not so much that I’m dining out while Haitians are starving and fighting for food. There are plenty of horrible situations around the world where this situation is played out every day. I’m aware that every time I go out to a restaurant, whether it’s Olive Garden or Ruth’s Chris there are countless others out there that can barely find enough food to eat to get through the day.   It’s really the timing of it all that hits home for me.  Just as you think you’re on the top of the world, there are always little reminders that happen in your life that there are others that aren’t as fortunate as you.

So what does this all mean?  Here’s one of the instances where I wonder what would have happened if I’d decided to go into medicine.  American Airlines was supposedly offering free flights to Haiti for any doctors – I wonder if I had been a doctor if I’d have jumped on the plane.  Regardless, I don’t think I’ll be going down there to help in person.  Does this mean I’ll assuage my guilt by donating monetarily?  Yes, I’ll donate, but not primarily to assuage my guilt. It’s the right thing to do.  I’ve been blessed with the life I have and it’s only right that I should find a way to share that with people who are not as blessed as I am.

I think of the outpouring of aid and donations that were given to the victims of the 9-11 tragedies, and reflect on the fact that Haiti is estimating a death toll of somewhere around 50,000 – over 20x that of the death toll from 9-11.  Time will tell, but I will bet that the impact of 9-11 on us as a nation is going to be much greater than the tragedy in Haiti.  And the Haiti tragedy will have more of an impact on us than the typhoon in Burma did, which had an even greater loss of life.  Does this mean that 9-11 is any less tragic?  Not at all.  Something is tragic or it’s not.  I don’t see any grades of tragedy.  I just think that 9-11 gives us a more tangible reminder of our humanity and its frailty than Haiti or Burma does.

I’m a little bummed by what that says about me as a person.  What’s the price of a meal?  I think this weekend’s meal will be a little heavier.  And that’s ok with me.

Breathe

And then the doorbell rings
Somebody asks you could
You spare a little time
To feel the weight that’s mine
To lower down your guard

Yeah, that your heart gets snagged
Caught in the wheels and dust dragged
Dangled o’er the edge, breathe

You feel you’re in too deep
So offer up some crumb
And drop it in the tin
Then slither back within

Your crenelated wealth
Your educated self
Your family your rude health

And all the joy it brings
Aren’t we forgetting something?
Feet out on the ledge, feet on the ledge

Breathe…

~David Gray